I had a feeling this trip was coming long before I booked it. Call it intuition, manifestation, or just a gut feeling. As soon as I left the comfort of my home to head to the airport, I knew it wasn’t going to be a fully carefree vacation. I was about to go on an adventure where I’d be confronting parts of myself I had been avoiding but also releasing weight that I’ve been carrying for most of my 20s.
The Dance of Control and Letting Go
The idea of spending 21 days on my own felt both thrilling and terrifying. Arriving in Ibiza without any set agenda felt like a real test. For the longest time, I’ve been in my masculine energy, controlling every moment by meticulously planning my days and structuring every part of my life. Instead, I leaned into my feminine—no agenda, no need to rush—and surprisingly, things didn’t fall apart. In fact, it made me realize how much more expansive life becomes when I create space for the universe to guide me. I felt a divine presence guiding my journey. It was as if God was whispering to me through the gentle breeze, the vibrant sunsets, and the warmth of the community around me, encouraging me to embrace every moment with gratitude and openness. Life became richer. The air felt different, the pace slower, and food—especially food—tasted different. Meals made with love, eaten slowly, outside, directly from the earth, nourished my body in ways I hadn’t felt in a long time. Balance came naturally—never overindulging, simply eating what I needed.
The Sacredness of Sensuality and Intimacy
Ibiza has a way of making you feel raw, vulnerable, and unapologetically yourself. At first, I perceived others as rejecting me and the more I sat with that feeling, the more I uncovered layers of old narratives — many of which weren’t even “mine” — shame around sexuality, guilt about desires, and fear rooted in my conservative upbringing, intertwined with the collective and ancestral trauma experienced by women in the Middle East. But the more I put myself out there, the more I saw that it wasn’t others rejecting me — it was me rejecting the modern-day definition of sexuality. Saying no became just as powerful as saying yes. I realized that for me, intimacy is sacred, my body is an altar, and not everyone is meant to enter that space. It wasn’t just about reclaiming my power; it was about reclaiming the power of every woman’s body. All of it had to be honored.
As I embraced this new approach, I felt a profound shift in how I dressed. I started selecting clothing that reflected my internal transformation—comfortable, flowing fabrics that honored my values and the woman I was becoming. It was liberating to let go of the pressure to conform to societal standards of beauty or attention; instead, my choices became a celebration of self-respect and authenticity. I embraced the joy of living freely and fully, trusting that by nurturing myself—physically, emotionally, and spiritually—I could cultivate a life that resonated deeply with my true self.
Manifesting Dreams and Living Like a Local
Manifestation became a recurring theme during the trip. I had set my intentions clearly and all of it came to life beautifully.
By the end of my time there, I wasn’t just a visitor. I had started to feel like a local, fully integrated into the rhythm of life in Ibiza. Hosting friends, teaching classes, , embodying my full, free self. I even lived in a beautiful, dreamy home that made everything feel surreal.
One of the most profound lessons I learned was to think in “future me” terms. I started asking myself, What would the dream version of me do? How would she think? This shift in perspective helped guide my actions and decisions throughout the trip, aligning them with the future self I envision.
Money as an Energy Exchange
On the Island, many locals don’t need vast amounts of money to live their dreams. They thrive on a system of exchange, focusing on serving others and sharing their gifts, allowing money to flow naturally into their lives. This perspective made me reflect on my own experiences in the corporate world, where we often find ourselves living a life that doesn’t truly resonate with us. We become accustomed to this routine, relying on our jobs to afford a lifestyle that feels unfulfilling and disconnected from our purpose. Rather than merely a means of accumulating wealth, I started regarding money as a tool for exchange. When aligned with a meaningful purpose, it can flow freely and abundantly, nurturing both ourselves and those around us.
Indulgence and Balance
Ibiza encouraged indulgence—whether in food, substances or experiences. This environment encouraged me to savor life deeply, reminding me that true abundance comes from simplicity and presence. There is so much joy in being in the present. Fully being here and now. Taking pleasure in the now. Trusting that what happens next is as good.
Coming Home—Changed but the Same
This trip didn’t “fix” everything, but it helped me shed parts of myself that no longer serve me and helped me remember my true essence and gifts. I am my most important investment. This realization has made me more intentional about the energy I allow into my life. Only I have the power to make myself happy or sad. Other people are characters in my life, painting the story I choose to write.
Returning to London, I feel lighter, more grounded, and clearer about my next steps. I choose to dedicate my life to helping others find balance, healing, and wellness—just as I have. It’s a new mountain to climb, but this journey has taught me that when we align with our true path, the universe supports us in ways we never imagined.
